So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
