You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
