You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Randomize
