Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
