We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
