Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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