Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Randomize
