Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
