nut hugger
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
