So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
