We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
