Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
don't judge my taste in strippers
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Randomize
