"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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