Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
