hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
