what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
