Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
