Apparently you make a good broom.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize