Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
ttyl tear gas
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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