Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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