Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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