Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
