Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I need to stop coming to work sober
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
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