the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
