I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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