We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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