She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
