It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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