I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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