I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
