i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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