how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
