Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
