Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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