Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
