after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Randomize
