Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
He felt like a one man threesome
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
