I've blown a few things in my day
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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