How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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