this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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