y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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