Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
