Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
In other news, I just burned my penis
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
