Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
