i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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