he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
