Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
