You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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