do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
