It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
