I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
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